The Problem!

Today's children are vocal, discerning, demanding and savvy, and the way they behave has become one of the greatest challenges facing educators, parents and society in general. Modern children understand their rights, readily challenge and oppose authority and often refuse to cooperate. Adults do not have the same coercive and intimidating presence of past generations. Behaviour strategies that once may have 'controlled' children and their behaviour, have limited impact today.

Over time, behaviour has changed, but our approach to it has not. Parents and teachers faced with challenging behaviour still try to manage behaviour with various types of rewards, punishments, time-outs and force. While reacting in this way may feel natural, it is a very ineffective and outdated way to approach today's behaviour. The fact is, today's children see 'rewards' as their right and 'punishments' as a mere inconvenience.

Let us ask you this:

Sadly, we don't have to look far to see how serious the situation is becoming for children, parents and the education system:

What's wrong with the way we typically manage behaviour?

As a parent or educator, you may have already tried the time outs, rewards and punishments, counting to the magic number of 3, or banning fun activites... You may have even resorted to threats, yelling, or physical punishments - all with little or no success. Well, you're not alone!

CLICK HERE TO READ:   The Case Against Time Out

What do these techniques do to help change behaviour?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing! Punishments are meaningless for most children; sitting on a chair will not bring about genuine change; and missing out on play for today's children, is merely inconvenient! Most children today really don't care what number you count to!

These reactions do not result in the child changing his or her behaviour or in acquiring new social skills. Punishments or sitting on a mat, a chair, a step or any other inanimate object does not help, nor will ever help, children solve social problems, underdtand why they should make better choices, have more effective communication, show greater respect to others, be more kind, caring and cooperative or learn how to resolve conflicts!

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And behaviour that does not change for the better can, and often does, become even more challenging!

Simply put, if children are not acquiring the behaviour and social skills they need, there will be no positive or lasting change in behaviour. And when our reactions fail to work, we react louder and 'stronger' resulting in more frustrated, disillusioned and oppositional children.

On top of all this: Behaviour not attended to effectively can, and does, become worse as children learn from, and are influenced by, other children! See below:

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In conclusion - 3 Big Statements!

Behaviour today is increasingly challenging.

In most societies, our approach to managing this challenging behaviour is largely based on correction, control and gaining obedience through positive and negative consequences-all in an attempt to try and control behaviour. It isn't effective. It's not working. Not for us, and certainly not for the children who are looking towards us for help and guidance.

All that I have seen over many years working with children has led me to believe 3 things:

1. Behaviour is complex.

2. Until we get away from this idea that to manage behaviour we have to 'do something' to the child' I believe we will continue to struggle with behaviour.

3. To become socially competent, children need more than time-out chairs and punishments. Today's children need focused and skilled Behaviour Management.

And as parents and educators, it is our job to ensure the children in our care receive this skilled and focused behaviour management and develop the skills they need to succeed...

Where do we go from here?

Well, we would ask you to please go to the next website page titled, 'The Program!'

To go to the next webpage titled 'The Program'  PLEASE CLICK HERE